We live in this amazing time where everything we could dream of is at the tip of our fingers. With that comes the world of technology at our tween’s hands too, as well as their one-track mind…on said technology! I have some great tips on how to connect with your tween that we implement in our home. Needless to say, we have tested these ideas out for you so you do not have to wade through the muck that is raising a tween!
Tested and tween approved ways for parents to connect with their tween
I have a 12-year-old son, a 9-year-old son, and a 1-year-old daughter at home. What I am going to say next, I will make sure to say it loud for those in the back to hear.
It is crucial to find ways to connect and to actually know your child, especially during these tween/teen years.
What I mean by this is simple – What our tweens/teens will face and what they will face in the next couple of years, is something that we wouldn’t even have been able to fathom when we were a tween/teen. I grew up in a time when the word “tween” wasn’t even a word. I also grew up, thank you sweet baby Jesus, in a time where social media was not even a thing. (Just showing my age now!) We could go out, enjoy ourselves, hang out with friends and not worry that every single move we made would be documented for the whole world to view, criticize and live forever on the internet.
Your tween/teen is in such a pivotal place where they are still learning about the world around them, they are still trying to figure out where they fit in the dynamic of the family, and yet want to gain as much independence that they can. God has put these beautiful little souls in our care and it is our job to love them, protect them, train them up, and set them free as wonderful, strong, independent citizens in this crazy world.
Family is incredibly important to our family. We make it known that family always comes first, that family will always be there in times of need, in times of praise and in times of growth. There are a million other directions I could go with this…but…without further adieu – ways to connect with your not-so-little baby.
Make a date night for just you and your tween/teen
- Take them to their favorite restaurant find out why the love to eat there.
- Take them to a movie they have wanted to see. Ask them what the enjoyed about the movie
- I always offer a chance to help me cook at every meal. Most times they decide to forgo helping me, but other times, they dive right in. I have noticed the times that they help are the times that they are wanting to talk about something and are not quite sure how to start the conversation. We start out with some simple talking, and when they are ready, they share everything they have on their heart.
- This is one of my favorite activities to do with my tween. I do not particularly like driving all over the place (we live out in the country, so it’s even more driving for us) but, I love getting to know who my son is hanging around with. I am typically just listening to their conversations and will add my two cents every once in a while. This is a great way for some of your tween’s friends to know who you are and for you to get to know them.
Family Dinners
- Eating together at least 4x a week is a game changer for your child/children. We aim for every night if possible, but as our kiddos are getting older, it is increasingly harder to do. We LOVE when their friends join us for dinner. It’s just another great way to get to know who they are hanging out with and for their friend to get to know us too. If you are worried about the meal budget – do something super easy – hot dogs, chips and a drink. They do not necessarily care what they are eating, they just eat whatever is in sight! 🙂
- Now, don’t judge a thought on the name! HA! This is quite possibly one of my favorite activities to do with my tween. As mentioned before, we live out in the country and about an hour and a half from the closest biggest city. Needless to say, we have a lot of time spent in the car. My son came up with this idea called “The Song Circle”. Each person in the car gets a turn at requesting a song to be played. This may be just me, but when it is just us two in the car, my son is allowed to pick any song he wants. When others are in the car, the rule is it has to be the clean version. Momma, this is where you pay close attention to the songs your tween/teen is playing. Ask them why they enjoy that song. Pay close attention to their emotions while listening to their “chosen” song. This is an incredibly deep way to connect with your child and they don’t even realize it. PLUS – I get to play all my favorite – “old lady” music and tell them some stories about me as a teen! My tween always opens up eventually and I love listening to him.
- This last one encompasses a few ideas, but I put them all together because they all go hand in hand!
- Just show up and be there for your tween/teen. Is baseball a sport I enjoy to watch? Absolutely not – but if my kid was playing on the team I would show up no matter what to cheer them on. Same scenario if my child was on the chess team. Make it known that you are there supporting your tween/teen.
- Be quiet and listen. Listen to them no matter how little or how much they talk. Stop giving those lectures all the time and simply ask them an easy question, sit back and just listen to them.
- Be honest with them about every topic under the sun. I have always said and will always say, I would rather my child come to me to ask a question about an “awkward” topic than learn about it from their friend. Because only God knows what kind of crazy information they are learning from their friends. This includes those hard topics such as; sex, drugs, drinking, relationships, and the state of the world.
- I will be completely honest here….tweens/teens are weird. They go through weird phases, assuming they know everything and what is best for them. But at the end of the day, please let them know every single chance you get, that you love them and you will always love them. Let them know you support them no matter what. Tell them when they wake up in the mornings, every time they leave the house, and before bed every night.
I am by no means a doctor, counselor, or therapist. These are just some of the activities that we do in our home to connect to our tween. The teen ages are some complicated and hard years, but they can also be incredibly adventurous and fun.
Want to try some of these at home? Take one and implement it with your tween. If that one doesn’t work, try another thing. Each tween/teen is different and will enjoy connecting with you in different ways. Keep trying one until one suggestion works!
Enjoy your tween/ teen in this grace-filled chaotic life!
If you liked what you read- join my email subscription! There, I will send out some weekly ideas, and tips and give you an update as to what’s on the blog. I promise I won’t be spammy and I definitely will not give any of your info out!
Leave a comment or question below. I love engaging with my readers!